I for one will be sad to see them go. I just knew that one day soon, on my way home from work, I would be stopping by to get me some collard greens, macaroni and cheese, and whipped potatoes. I am so disappointed. I can at least thank Missoutlaw for introducing me to this place which thankfully I got to visit many times.
Heart, soul of Harlem dining saying farewell
Monday, July 23rd 2007, 4:00 AM
Clem Richardson: Sad news, New York: A week from now Copeland's will be no more." Calvin Sad news, New York: A week from now Copeland's will be no more.
That means gourmands have six days to gorge themselves on Calvin Copeland's signature stuffed chicken wings, macaroni and cheese and bread pudding with Grand Marnier before both his legendary 145th St. restaurant and the steam-table eatery next door close for good.
"We'll have the jazz brunch on Sunday and we'll be closed for good on Monday," Copeland said. "That's it. It's done."
Copeland, 82, has been selling soul food with a New Orleans flavor uptown for 50 years, ever since he took an aunt's advice and used the $850 he'd saved working in restaurant kitchens across Manhattan and opened a restaurant in a cubbyhole on Broadway around the corner from his present location.
For years, Copeland's was the destination for an upscale uptown dining experience. Stars like Stevie Wonder, Harry Belafonte and the late Sammy Davis Jr. were regulars. Copeland also catered events and benefits for a bevy of politicians, including former mayors David Dinkins and Ed Koch and Congressman Charles Rangel.
"I catered a lot of events at Gracie Mansion for Mayor Koch," Copeland said. "We're good friends."
He blamed the restaurant's demise on a variety of factors: the gentrification of Harlem, which has attracted a new generation unfamiliar with southern soul food or the restaurant's history; an influx of Hispanic residents and restaurants on his block of 145th St. ("They have their own restaurants and their own food," Copeland said) and the one thing that has bedeviled Copeland's since it opened, the lack of parking.
"I have a man who drives here from Brooklyn for breakfast," Copeland said. "The other day, he double parked, ran in and ran back out and found a $145 ticket on his car. Who can afford that?"
"It will be an institution missed in our community," said Bill Lynch, deputy mayor under Dinkins. "It's a shame they could not survive the changing of the community."
Lynch, who lives three blocks away, said his wife still uses Copeland's catering. "There are a lot of new restaurants in Harlem, but Copeland's is an institution."
Copeland was born in Smithfield, Va., and grew up in Newport News, Va. Both his parents died when he was a child, and Copeland and his seven siblings were raised by relatives.
Despite labor laws, he started cooking in Virginia restaurants - all these years later he can still name the establishments and their addresses - when he was nine years old.
He moved to New York in the late 1940s. "Just like immigrants today, I thought the streets in New York were paved with gold," he laughed.
He took any job he could, from dishwasher to bus boy to cook. At each he would watch the chefs and try to pick up techniques. "I worked from 3 p.m. to 12a.m., seven days a week, for five or six years," Copeland said. "For a year I never saw the sun set."
The first Copeland's opened in 1967 on Broadway between 148th and 149th Sts. after his Aunt Alma told him to take what money he had and put it in his dream.
Copeland said he plans to give away most of the restaurant furniture - he does not own the space. He also plans to spend more time with wife, Rita, 86, who is bedridden with Parkinson's and Alzheimers diseases and recently suffered a stroke.
The closure will mean unemployment for the restaurant's 24 employees, some of whom have been with Copeland for over 40 years. "I held on as long as I could," Copeland said.
Not that he's done. Copeland said he may open another venture sometime next year.
Copeland said he is calling Sunday's brunch, which starts at 1 p.m., "the Last Supper" and will feature all of his specialties. His book, due out later this year, is titled, "You Got to Love What You're Doing and I Still Do: Calvin Copeland and the Story Behind the Legendary Harlem Restaurant as told to Mary Ellen Gardiner."
crichardson@nydailynews.com
Bye Copelands!!!!! You will be missed!!!! My only consolation is that I learned how to make collard greens and macaroni and cheese. Does anybody know how to make whipped potatoes???
Thursday, July 26, 2007
It's Not That Men Don't Talk, They just Don't Talk to Us.
Men Don't Talk Less Than Women
Men and Women Say the Same Amount of Words Daily, Study Shows
By Miranda Hitti WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
July 6, 2007 -- There's new buzz about how much women and men talk -- and if you're picturing Chatty Cathy and Silent Steve, think again.
Both sexes say the same amount of words -- about 16,000 per day -- a new study shows.
The study, published in today's issue of the journal Science, included nearly 400 undergraduate students -- 210 women and 186 men.
Each student wore a device called an electronically activated recorder (EAR) during their waking hours.
The device quietly recorded the students' words for 30 seconds at a time, every 12 minutes or so. But the students didn't know when the recorder was on. They were told it recorded at random times.
The researchers included Matthias Mehl, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Arizona's psychology department. They padded the recorder so students couldn't sense when it was on.
They transcribed the students' tapes and then estimated how many words the students said daily, based on 17 waking hours per day.
Men Talk, Women Talk
"The data suggest that women spoke on average 16,215 words and men 15,669 words" per day, the researchers write.
But that difference of 546 words isn't exactly carved in stone. In fact, it's so small that the researchers say it could have been due to chance.
"Thus, the data fail to reveal a reliable sex difference in daily word use," write the researchers, who call the chat count a "lexical budget."
Some students were chattier than others.
For instance, one of the most talkative men uttered 47,000 words per day, while the quietest guy barely spoke 500 words, Mehl notes in a University of Arizona news release.
Most of the students were studying psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. That's where Mehl worked on the study as a graduate student.
The study also included about 100 students from the Autonomous University of Nuevo Leon in Monterrey, Mexico.
The sound clips were gathered in six groups of students from 1998 to 2004. Women didn't substantially outtalk men in any of those groups.
The researchers conclude that even though they only studied college students, "the widespread and highly publicized stereotype about female talkativeness is unfounded."
Guys, what do you think? Tell us on WebMD's Men’s Health: Man to Man board. Ladies, chime in on WebMD's Women’s Health Friends Talking board. Then, pop in and see what the opposite sex has to say!
SOURCES: Mehl, M. Science, July 6, 2007; vol 317: p 82. News release, University of Arizona.
Men and Women Say the Same Amount of Words Daily, Study Shows
By Miranda Hitti WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
July 6, 2007 -- There's new buzz about how much women and men talk -- and if you're picturing Chatty Cathy and Silent Steve, think again.
Both sexes say the same amount of words -- about 16,000 per day -- a new study shows.
The study, published in today's issue of the journal Science, included nearly 400 undergraduate students -- 210 women and 186 men.
Each student wore a device called an electronically activated recorder (EAR) during their waking hours.
The device quietly recorded the students' words for 30 seconds at a time, every 12 minutes or so. But the students didn't know when the recorder was on. They were told it recorded at random times.
The researchers included Matthias Mehl, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Arizona's psychology department. They padded the recorder so students couldn't sense when it was on.
They transcribed the students' tapes and then estimated how many words the students said daily, based on 17 waking hours per day.
Men Talk, Women Talk
"The data suggest that women spoke on average 16,215 words and men 15,669 words" per day, the researchers write.
But that difference of 546 words isn't exactly carved in stone. In fact, it's so small that the researchers say it could have been due to chance.
"Thus, the data fail to reveal a reliable sex difference in daily word use," write the researchers, who call the chat count a "lexical budget."
Some students were chattier than others.
For instance, one of the most talkative men uttered 47,000 words per day, while the quietest guy barely spoke 500 words, Mehl notes in a University of Arizona news release.
Most of the students were studying psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. That's where Mehl worked on the study as a graduate student.
The study also included about 100 students from the Autonomous University of Nuevo Leon in Monterrey, Mexico.
The sound clips were gathered in six groups of students from 1998 to 2004. Women didn't substantially outtalk men in any of those groups.
The researchers conclude that even though they only studied college students, "the widespread and highly publicized stereotype about female talkativeness is unfounded."
Guys, what do you think? Tell us on WebMD's Men’s Health: Man to Man board. Ladies, chime in on WebMD's Women’s Health Friends Talking board. Then, pop in and see what the opposite sex has to say!
SOURCES: Mehl, M. Science, July 6, 2007; vol 317: p 82. News release, University of Arizona.
Soulmate vs. Playmate
The following are not my words but i thought they were so true so I wanted to share.
In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for aPlaymate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is ahard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun tobe with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking thishas to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soulmate out of a Playmate.
The danger of this is that later, after years of playing, we will meetour Soul mate, but it may be too late. We may have already made a Lifemate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children,> etc.).Alternatively, we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be any one's anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one? First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind.Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole. In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. Moreover, is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be him? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will.Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, and on and on?Just too ordinary looking for me Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head.She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! Therefore, what if he or she doesn't look like Shemar Moore or Vivica Fox. Is he or she going to treat you like the jewel that you are?Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty of Playmates out thereto occupy your time. Nevertheless, don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses it appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate.Never make someone a priority when all you are to him or her is an Option.
AMEN
"The measure of a man is how well he takes care of his children"Sidney Poitier
In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for aPlaymate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is ahard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun tobe with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking thishas to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soulmate out of a Playmate.
The danger of this is that later, after years of playing, we will meetour Soul mate, but it may be too late. We may have already made a Lifemate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children,> etc.).Alternatively, we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be any one's anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one? First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind.Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole. In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. Moreover, is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be him? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will.Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, and on and on?Just too ordinary looking for me Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head.She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! Therefore, what if he or she doesn't look like Shemar Moore or Vivica Fox. Is he or she going to treat you like the jewel that you are?Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty of Playmates out thereto occupy your time. Nevertheless, don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses it appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate.Never make someone a priority when all you are to him or her is an Option.
AMEN
"The measure of a man is how well he takes care of his children"Sidney Poitier
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Military Issue
The following story appeared in the news on Thursday, July 19: My comments will follow.
The Bronx soldier accused of hiring a hit man to shoot him in the leg so he could get out of returning to Iraq has been ordered back to his military base - and could face stiff punishment.
"I'm scared s---less," Jonathan Aponte, 20, said after testifying in front of a Bronx grand jury yesterday and learning he is to report to his commanders by midnight tonight.
"I don't know if I'm going back to Iraq or not, but I don't want to," he said.
His wife suggested, and he agreed, that they hire someone to shoot him on the streets of New York in the hopes he would avoid his six-month return tour to the war zone, prosecutors said.
"I just didn't want to go back," he said, shaking with emotion as he stood on crutches. The G.I. was on a two-week leave in the Bronx after serving 10 months in Iraq when the couple allegedly hatched the scheme.
"I feel like I can't handle it mentally after everything I saw," he told the Daily News with tears in his eyes. "I've had friends die in my arms and I've seen things most men my age will never see."
On July 9, the day he was to report to duty, Aponte was shot once in the leg at the corner of Bronx Blvd. and E. Gun Hill Road by Felix Padilla, cops said.
While they were being grilled by cops, the newlywed couple's story began to unravel.
Aponte, his wife, Alexandra Gonzalez, 22, and Padilla were arrested and charged in the conspiracy. All face serious jail time if the Bronx district attorney prosecutes the case.
But military law experts said it is more likely that the Army will take over Aponte's case - opening the door for a possible court-martial and jail time.
William Holmes, a former Marine Corps defense attorney, said it is also possible Aponte will be given some psychological counseling and discharged.
But "the Army may take the attitude that they can't show any tolerance for this kind of behavior," said Holmes, now a private attorney based in Virginia.
Aponte could also be charged with malingering - inflicting injury on himself to get out of duty. That charge alone carries a penalty of up to 10 years in a military jail and a dishonorable discharge.
Another possibility is that the traumatized soldier will be disciplined by his commanding officer. He could lose a month's pay or be stripped of a stripe or be given extra duties, Holmes said.
That punishment can also include being redeployed - for Aponte, the worst result.
"I still have nightmares and smell burning flesh in my dreams," he said. "I was home for the Fourth of July and had to wear earplugs because the sounds reminded me of explosions in Iraq."
His family and lawyer say the G.I. is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.
"I want Jonathan to get the treatment he needs to make him a whole person once again," said his attorney Marty Goldberg
Do we seriously want to send someone who is this adamant not to return to war, enough to hire someone to shoot him, back to Iraq? Does this make the best sense? I am not judging the guy for what he did. I actually sympathize with him. He doesn’t want to go back. He is scared. He is most likely suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. He doesn’t want to die out there. He misses his family. And exactly why is he out there? Yes I know he took an oath to protect his country. Blah, Blah, Blah. I took that same oath at some point in my life. I took the oath to protect my country but are we out there protecting the good ole U.S. of A??? Can someone be truthful enough to explain why is HE out there? Why are WE there??? I am sure the motivational speech includes something about being proud to be American. It includes something about fighting for your country. It includes something about fighting for freedom, rights, and justice for all. Whatever! Can someone tell me why we are out there again? Was it 9/11? Was it GW avenging his father? Is it Al-Qaeda? Is it Saddam? Well it cant be Saddam because we got him already. Was it the guys on the cards? I think we got most of them too. Is there a new list of people that are being made up as we go along? Is it to free the country of its oppressors? OIL??? Why? Can someone remind me why we are there?
Does it do anyone any good to send him back besides sending a message that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated? If I were out there fighting in the trenches, I wouldn’t want anyone unstable watching my back. I say keep him here. Get him the medical help necessary and then discharge him. Relieve him of his duties and responsibilities. It would serve no purpose to put him in jail.
The Bronx soldier accused of hiring a hit man to shoot him in the leg so he could get out of returning to Iraq has been ordered back to his military base - and could face stiff punishment.
"I'm scared s---less," Jonathan Aponte, 20, said after testifying in front of a Bronx grand jury yesterday and learning he is to report to his commanders by midnight tonight.
"I don't know if I'm going back to Iraq or not, but I don't want to," he said.
His wife suggested, and he agreed, that they hire someone to shoot him on the streets of New York in the hopes he would avoid his six-month return tour to the war zone, prosecutors said.
"I just didn't want to go back," he said, shaking with emotion as he stood on crutches. The G.I. was on a two-week leave in the Bronx after serving 10 months in Iraq when the couple allegedly hatched the scheme.
"I feel like I can't handle it mentally after everything I saw," he told the Daily News with tears in his eyes. "I've had friends die in my arms and I've seen things most men my age will never see."
On July 9, the day he was to report to duty, Aponte was shot once in the leg at the corner of Bronx Blvd. and E. Gun Hill Road by Felix Padilla, cops said.
While they were being grilled by cops, the newlywed couple's story began to unravel.
Aponte, his wife, Alexandra Gonzalez, 22, and Padilla were arrested and charged in the conspiracy. All face serious jail time if the Bronx district attorney prosecutes the case.
But military law experts said it is more likely that the Army will take over Aponte's case - opening the door for a possible court-martial and jail time.
William Holmes, a former Marine Corps defense attorney, said it is also possible Aponte will be given some psychological counseling and discharged.
But "the Army may take the attitude that they can't show any tolerance for this kind of behavior," said Holmes, now a private attorney based in Virginia.
Aponte could also be charged with malingering - inflicting injury on himself to get out of duty. That charge alone carries a penalty of up to 10 years in a military jail and a dishonorable discharge.
Another possibility is that the traumatized soldier will be disciplined by his commanding officer. He could lose a month's pay or be stripped of a stripe or be given extra duties, Holmes said.
That punishment can also include being redeployed - for Aponte, the worst result.
"I still have nightmares and smell burning flesh in my dreams," he said. "I was home for the Fourth of July and had to wear earplugs because the sounds reminded me of explosions in Iraq."
His family and lawyer say the G.I. is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.
"I want Jonathan to get the treatment he needs to make him a whole person once again," said his attorney Marty Goldberg
Do we seriously want to send someone who is this adamant not to return to war, enough to hire someone to shoot him, back to Iraq? Does this make the best sense? I am not judging the guy for what he did. I actually sympathize with him. He doesn’t want to go back. He is scared. He is most likely suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. He doesn’t want to die out there. He misses his family. And exactly why is he out there? Yes I know he took an oath to protect his country. Blah, Blah, Blah. I took that same oath at some point in my life. I took the oath to protect my country but are we out there protecting the good ole U.S. of A??? Can someone be truthful enough to explain why is HE out there? Why are WE there??? I am sure the motivational speech includes something about being proud to be American. It includes something about fighting for your country. It includes something about fighting for freedom, rights, and justice for all. Whatever! Can someone tell me why we are out there again? Was it 9/11? Was it GW avenging his father? Is it Al-Qaeda? Is it Saddam? Well it cant be Saddam because we got him already. Was it the guys on the cards? I think we got most of them too. Is there a new list of people that are being made up as we go along? Is it to free the country of its oppressors? OIL??? Why? Can someone remind me why we are there?
Does it do anyone any good to send him back besides sending a message that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated? If I were out there fighting in the trenches, I wouldn’t want anyone unstable watching my back. I say keep him here. Get him the medical help necessary and then discharge him. Relieve him of his duties and responsibilities. It would serve no purpose to put him in jail.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Pretty Hot And Tempting
Today’s hot topic on the Spanish radio was about younger females and men being tempted by them. Namely, there was a caller who was calling about his stepdaughter. He said that at 13, she had a “tremendo cuerpazo” meaning that she had the body of a 16 – 18 year old, and that she was very sexy. He also said that she wore thongs around the house, which is another blog in itself. Shame on her mother for not teaching her daughter to dress appropriate in front of the step-father or any man in the house for that matter. I dont care if its Tio, Cousin, Abuelo, who ever. To me there are certain rules when you live in the house with men who may or may not be relatives.
1. Don’t come out of the shower with just a towel.
2. Definitely don’t come out of the shower with less than a towel.
3. Be dressed appropriately at all times meaning NO walking around the house in panties, bras, thongs, lingerie.
4. Sit with your legs closed especially if your wearing a skirt.
5. It’s MY HOUSE and if you want to do any of the above GRADUATE and MOVE the F*CK OUT.
Back to the caller: He went on to say that he had thoughts about his step daughter and that she turned him on. He had only been in the house, part of the family for 4 to 5 years. Now this might make you sick, as it does me, but the truth of the matter is that he was being honest. And more truth to this—these things do happen. I for one know of a cousin who was molested by her “step-father”. Unfortunately her mother, didn’t believe her and she eventually left the house and turned to crack. Which is another blog in itself because as mothers we must, must, must ALWAYS put our children before ALL others, and if there is a potentially dangerous situation, then we must be reactive. I also have a neighbor who frequents strip clubs looking for girls who remind him of his stepdaughter because she is driving him mad with desire. He says his “step-daughter” is so tempting. And he talks about his lust for her with other guys. You won't believe this sicko "step-father" is a former cop. And what to say about the unsuspecting wife. Is it she blind or is it that she doesn't want to see?
Again its all so unfortunate and disgusting but these things do happen. I feel blessed because I don’t have any daughters and don’t have to worry about this. But I do have nieces, 2 of them live in the house without a man (thank GOD) but there may come a time when they do, 1 of them lives with her biological father, 1 of them lives with a creepy “step-grandfather” which I will save for another blog because her grandmother allows him to spank her, and 1 of them is grown (or at least she thinks so—I will always think she is too young) and she lives with her man. So while the worry is not in my home. I still have the worry about 3 of them. Personally for me, I could not live with a man if I had daughters. I would be to freaked out/ creeped out/paranoid by what could happen. So for me that would not work. Trying to merge a family when the boys were teen and preteen was hard enough with all the testorone in the house but that story is for another blog. But to all mothers—you need to be aware of this danger. And of course I am not saying that ALL men are like the caller and my neighbor—who have sexual thoughts and desires but only lust and fantasize, and I am not saying that ALL men are like my cousin’s “step-father—giving in to fantasies and desires and then molesting and raping her, But what I am saying is that there are varying degrees of men out there and mothers need to WATCH your daughters. It is a cruel, cruel world out there. WATCH YOUR DAUGHTERS!!!!! Better to be save than sorry.
1. Don’t come out of the shower with just a towel.
2. Definitely don’t come out of the shower with less than a towel.
3. Be dressed appropriately at all times meaning NO walking around the house in panties, bras, thongs, lingerie.
4. Sit with your legs closed especially if your wearing a skirt.
5. It’s MY HOUSE and if you want to do any of the above GRADUATE and MOVE the F*CK OUT.
Back to the caller: He went on to say that he had thoughts about his step daughter and that she turned him on. He had only been in the house, part of the family for 4 to 5 years. Now this might make you sick, as it does me, but the truth of the matter is that he was being honest. And more truth to this—these things do happen. I for one know of a cousin who was molested by her “step-father”. Unfortunately her mother, didn’t believe her and she eventually left the house and turned to crack. Which is another blog in itself because as mothers we must, must, must ALWAYS put our children before ALL others, and if there is a potentially dangerous situation, then we must be reactive. I also have a neighbor who frequents strip clubs looking for girls who remind him of his stepdaughter because she is driving him mad with desire. He says his “step-daughter” is so tempting. And he talks about his lust for her with other guys. You won't believe this sicko "step-father" is a former cop. And what to say about the unsuspecting wife. Is it she blind or is it that she doesn't want to see?
Again its all so unfortunate and disgusting but these things do happen. I feel blessed because I don’t have any daughters and don’t have to worry about this. But I do have nieces, 2 of them live in the house without a man (thank GOD) but there may come a time when they do, 1 of them lives with her biological father, 1 of them lives with a creepy “step-grandfather” which I will save for another blog because her grandmother allows him to spank her, and 1 of them is grown (or at least she thinks so—I will always think she is too young) and she lives with her man. So while the worry is not in my home. I still have the worry about 3 of them. Personally for me, I could not live with a man if I had daughters. I would be to freaked out/ creeped out/paranoid by what could happen. So for me that would not work. Trying to merge a family when the boys were teen and preteen was hard enough with all the testorone in the house but that story is for another blog. But to all mothers—you need to be aware of this danger. And of course I am not saying that ALL men are like the caller and my neighbor—who have sexual thoughts and desires but only lust and fantasize, and I am not saying that ALL men are like my cousin’s “step-father—giving in to fantasies and desires and then molesting and raping her, But what I am saying is that there are varying degrees of men out there and mothers need to WATCH your daughters. It is a cruel, cruel world out there. WATCH YOUR DAUGHTERS!!!!! Better to be save than sorry.
Monday, July 16, 2007
New Job, New Attitude
In the famous words or is it infamous words of James Brown, "I FEEL GOOD!!!" I have a new job, a new attitude, and it shows. It shows in the way I walk, talk, think, act, and feel. I feel so fabulous. It is great to wake up and not drag myself to work. I get to work with energy to start my day and leave work with energy. I don't come home and go immediately to sleep because I am drained. I don't come home in a bad mood. Its a great feeling. My new job is all about making the employees feel good so that they are energetic, enthusiastic, and ready to give their all. Imagine that. They really care how I feel. I know that sounds suspicious. But its really true. Every week, every single Monday, we start the day off with a great email. Read it. I couldn't believe it when I read it myself. It doesn't take long to get used to the good stuff. I am used to it as if I have been here forever.
My boss: she loves life. She is into yoga and her life is about balance and she brings that positive energy with her to work. She starts our Mondays with a different quote.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.-- Marianne Williamson
Good evening and happy Sunday,
The quote above is one of my favorites. As I think about tomorrow, next week and the year ahead, I can’t help but think of the many character strengths we talked about on Thursday. And as I read the quote above for the thousandth time, I think a lot about the character strength of bravery, the bravery it takes to not only see our own ‘light’ in stead of ‘darkness’ but the bravery it takes to use it. Likewise, I think about the bravery it takes to:
- leave one’s job in search of something better,
- show up and give 110% everyday,
- be relentless in our pursuit of excellence, the pursuit of finding a better way,
- “Be Nice.”
And, I think about the hundreds of ***sters getting ready for bed (okay, well maybe not for a few more hours) before their first day of school at ***- the bravery it takes to sacrifice for one’s own education because you want something better. I think about the bravery of our new teachers who will stand in front of the ***sters tomorrow and teach their first lesson. I think about the bravery of our veteran teachers who continue to redefine high standards in their classrooms for the first day of their fifth year or seventh year or fourteenth year! I think about the bravery of our Principals who lead us in teaching our kids, alumni and families so that we do in fact ‘build a better tomorrow.’
Thank you again N***, P*** and J*** for choosing **** and for taking a risk in joining our family. Thank you also to K***, T***, C***, H***, I***, L***, C***, L*** and A*** for your bravery in the work we have done day in and day out, and for facing this challenge of building “the best” shared services team despite often times having more questions than answers.
It is with overwhelming excitement that I send this email as we start another year, a year in which we take with us all of the many victories and successes, and quiet moments of ‘ah,’ the mistakes and challenges, and the defeats from last year and marry them with the opportunity of a new year. Here’s to a fantastic journey ahead, and to the incredible bravery and ‘light’ that rests in each of us everyday in all that we do.
Updates and other random stuff:
A huge shout out and thank you to everyone again for their flexibility, muscle power and enthusiasm last week as we unpacked, rearranged, sweated, moved furniture and got organized.
I have never worked anywhere with this much enthusiasm. I am glad to have finally found a job that embodies everything that I think a job should be. I am blessed and lucky. And its finally my time. I always have a plan but I believe that GOD makes it happen in HIS own time.
My boss: she loves life. She is into yoga and her life is about balance and she brings that positive energy with her to work. She starts our Mondays with a different quote.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.-- Marianne Williamson
Good evening and happy Sunday,
The quote above is one of my favorites. As I think about tomorrow, next week and the year ahead, I can’t help but think of the many character strengths we talked about on Thursday. And as I read the quote above for the thousandth time, I think a lot about the character strength of bravery, the bravery it takes to not only see our own ‘light’ in stead of ‘darkness’ but the bravery it takes to use it. Likewise, I think about the bravery it takes to:
- leave one’s job in search of something better,
- show up and give 110% everyday,
- be relentless in our pursuit of excellence, the pursuit of finding a better way,
- “Be Nice.”
And, I think about the hundreds of ***sters getting ready for bed (okay, well maybe not for a few more hours) before their first day of school at ***- the bravery it takes to sacrifice for one’s own education because you want something better. I think about the bravery of our new teachers who will stand in front of the ***sters tomorrow and teach their first lesson. I think about the bravery of our veteran teachers who continue to redefine high standards in their classrooms for the first day of their fifth year or seventh year or fourteenth year! I think about the bravery of our Principals who lead us in teaching our kids, alumni and families so that we do in fact ‘build a better tomorrow.’
Thank you again N***, P*** and J*** for choosing **** and for taking a risk in joining our family. Thank you also to K***, T***, C***, H***, I***, L***, C***, L*** and A*** for your bravery in the work we have done day in and day out, and for facing this challenge of building “the best” shared services team despite often times having more questions than answers.
It is with overwhelming excitement that I send this email as we start another year, a year in which we take with us all of the many victories and successes, and quiet moments of ‘ah,’ the mistakes and challenges, and the defeats from last year and marry them with the opportunity of a new year. Here’s to a fantastic journey ahead, and to the incredible bravery and ‘light’ that rests in each of us everyday in all that we do.
Updates and other random stuff:
A huge shout out and thank you to everyone again for their flexibility, muscle power and enthusiasm last week as we unpacked, rearranged, sweated, moved furniture and got organized.
I have never worked anywhere with this much enthusiasm. I am glad to have finally found a job that embodies everything that I think a job should be. I am blessed and lucky. And its finally my time. I always have a plan but I believe that GOD makes it happen in HIS own time.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
My only regret is that I did not send this out to all the employees.
Although I did submit this letter to HR on the day of my departure, my only regret is that I was not bold enough to send to all in an email. That would of really made my day. Oh well, what is done is done. I will just have to be satisfied with giving this to HR.
MEMORANDUM
To: Human Resources Lady
From: Me
Re: Resignation
Date: June 11, 2007
I have been advised by many that it is not worth explaining why I have made the decision to leave the ***. I have thought about whether or not this is the right thing to do. I feel that it might be in the best interest of future employees of the *** if I write my experience. Hopefully these incidents will not be repeated and employees can be happy working here.
Up until the incident that occurred with RS, I felt that Human Resources was unapproachable. I wish I had known that was not the case because that might have prevented me from resigning.
During the 200th year anniversary celebration, because of the amount of work, I chose not to attend and stayed at my desk and did my work. RB was aware of this. Because of my lack of attendance to hear the band play, JK told JB that I should be fired. She made this comment within earshot of several people. I brought this to the attention of RB. I told him that I felt she had no place to worry about whether or not I was there. He told me that she did because she worked in EXO. My response to him was that if she were so concerned she should have come to me directly or she should have spoke to my immediate supervisor. He said he would talk to her.
This incident should have never taken place. JK is unprofessional and she should have never made those inappropriate comments. As to whether or not RB did in fact speak to her, I do not know. This matter was never discussed further.
After Esso resigned a replacement was never found. I have continually said to KW and to RB that this job needs to be done by one full-time person and one part-time person, at the least. For whatever reason, the decision was made for me to do this job by myself with the partial assistance of whoever was the assistant. That was not a good decision based on the amount of work. All the work that I do has deadlines: The reconciliation and distribution of monies needs to be done monthly. The acknowledgement of the donors has to be done weekly. The sorting and distributing of the checks to *** has to be done bi-weekly. The in-house processing of the checks has to be done weekly. The transferring of data from *** into *** has to be done weekly. The acknowledgment of all gifts has to be done weekly. Responding to callers and email has to be done daily. The volume of all work increases during the months of September to January. It is unreasonable to think that this can be done in a timely basis by one person. Although, KW say that she did not know that I needed help, that is entirely false. We, along with RB had a discussion about the increase of work during that time.
When RB gave me my review in the summer of 2006, I discussed with him a title change. He said that we would discuss this further and see how “we” could add further responsibilities to what I already had. Less than two weeks after this review and discussion, I found out by email that RB was going to be the new Vice President of the Data Center. I concluded that during my review he must have known about this. This showed a complete lack of respect for me. At the least he should have told me that it would be KW's responsibility for considering a title change and promotion.
I have trained numerous people to be able to work with me: Including KRM, IT, SO, AH, CT(temp), GM(temp), LJ(temp), and numerous other temps. I have managed all the temps that have worked with me and I have assisted several people in the use of ***Yet this has not been enough evidence to support why I should be a manager.
As you already know, there was an incident with RS. This is what finally brought me to my conclusion that I must resign from the ***.
I felt that he was very disrespectful. KW was extremely unsupportive and concluded that RS was “just doing his job”. I was first insulted by RS with his comment “What prevents you from taking the money?” and insulted again by KW's lack of support. Although I did receive support from Human Resources, I find that I can no longer continue working in this hostile environment.
To add insult to injury, I have learned from KW, that when I leave, I will be replaced by two people. I feel like I have been slaved without compensation. Had I known that this would be the outcome, I would have resigned sooner.
Also, it isn’t enough that I am leaving RS and JK continue to indirectly harass me. They have been questioning staff about my departure. They are concerned with any parties I am having. This is totally uncalled for. I cannot believe that these incidents continue to occur here. I am curious if the incidents between RS and JK can amount to a lawsuit. It is outrageous how they carry on.
With that said, I had no other choice but to resign from the ***. It is not clear that things will ever change here and I cannot and will not be a part of that.
MEMORANDUM
To: Human Resources Lady
From: Me
Re: Resignation
Date: June 11, 2007
I have been advised by many that it is not worth explaining why I have made the decision to leave the ***. I have thought about whether or not this is the right thing to do. I feel that it might be in the best interest of future employees of the *** if I write my experience. Hopefully these incidents will not be repeated and employees can be happy working here.
Up until the incident that occurred with RS, I felt that Human Resources was unapproachable. I wish I had known that was not the case because that might have prevented me from resigning.
During the 200th year anniversary celebration, because of the amount of work, I chose not to attend and stayed at my desk and did my work. RB was aware of this. Because of my lack of attendance to hear the band play, JK told JB that I should be fired. She made this comment within earshot of several people. I brought this to the attention of RB. I told him that I felt she had no place to worry about whether or not I was there. He told me that she did because she worked in EXO. My response to him was that if she were so concerned she should have come to me directly or she should have spoke to my immediate supervisor. He said he would talk to her.
This incident should have never taken place. JK is unprofessional and she should have never made those inappropriate comments. As to whether or not RB did in fact speak to her, I do not know. This matter was never discussed further.
After Esso resigned a replacement was never found. I have continually said to KW and to RB that this job needs to be done by one full-time person and one part-time person, at the least. For whatever reason, the decision was made for me to do this job by myself with the partial assistance of whoever was the assistant. That was not a good decision based on the amount of work. All the work that I do has deadlines: The reconciliation and distribution of monies needs to be done monthly. The acknowledgement of the donors has to be done weekly. The sorting and distributing of the checks to *** has to be done bi-weekly. The in-house processing of the checks has to be done weekly. The transferring of data from *** into *** has to be done weekly. The acknowledgment of all gifts has to be done weekly. Responding to callers and email has to be done daily. The volume of all work increases during the months of September to January. It is unreasonable to think that this can be done in a timely basis by one person. Although, KW say that she did not know that I needed help, that is entirely false. We, along with RB had a discussion about the increase of work during that time.
When RB gave me my review in the summer of 2006, I discussed with him a title change. He said that we would discuss this further and see how “we” could add further responsibilities to what I already had. Less than two weeks after this review and discussion, I found out by email that RB was going to be the new Vice President of the Data Center. I concluded that during my review he must have known about this. This showed a complete lack of respect for me. At the least he should have told me that it would be KW's responsibility for considering a title change and promotion.
I have trained numerous people to be able to work with me: Including KRM, IT, SO, AH, CT(temp), GM(temp), LJ(temp), and numerous other temps. I have managed all the temps that have worked with me and I have assisted several people in the use of ***Yet this has not been enough evidence to support why I should be a manager.
As you already know, there was an incident with RS. This is what finally brought me to my conclusion that I must resign from the ***.
I felt that he was very disrespectful. KW was extremely unsupportive and concluded that RS was “just doing his job”. I was first insulted by RS with his comment “What prevents you from taking the money?” and insulted again by KW's lack of support. Although I did receive support from Human Resources, I find that I can no longer continue working in this hostile environment.
To add insult to injury, I have learned from KW, that when I leave, I will be replaced by two people. I feel like I have been slaved without compensation. Had I known that this would be the outcome, I would have resigned sooner.
Also, it isn’t enough that I am leaving RS and JK continue to indirectly harass me. They have been questioning staff about my departure. They are concerned with any parties I am having. This is totally uncalled for. I cannot believe that these incidents continue to occur here. I am curious if the incidents between RS and JK can amount to a lawsuit. It is outrageous how they carry on.
With that said, I had no other choice but to resign from the ***. It is not clear that things will ever change here and I cannot and will not be a part of that.
Monday, July 02, 2007
The Grass has to be Greener on the other side.
So recently I decided to leave my job. Truth be told a long time ago I decided to leave my job. This is probably why I haven't been blogging. I was feeling so despondent about my old, I had no energy for anything. Most recently, I was offered a fabulous opportunity to leave my job (thank God for that) and move on to something better. I had my resignation ready for weeks as I had already claimed this job. I was just waiting for the deal to go thru. My letter was very liberating and the same day I was offered my new job, I wasted no time in saying good bye to my old job. I feel if I had stayed just one more minute, I might have had a heart attack. So here's the goodbye.
MEMORANDUM
To: Boss B*tch
Boss B*tch of Human Resources
From: Noelle
Re: Resignation
Date: May 31, 2007
It is with firm conviction that I write this letter of resignation from ***.
Please understand that I have made my decision after considerable deliberation.
I am therefore resigning from ***. This will be effective June 14, 2007.
In the interim, I will work with you and AH to ensure a smooth transition.
I hope that I will have your support in making this change as easy as possible.
Thank you.
In response to my resignation, my old boss sent out this announcement.
Noelle will be leaving us to spend more time with her family. Her last day will be June 18th. Noelle has been with the *** for 6 years. Her dedication to caring about the details and taking care of our donors is legendary in our department. She will be missed.
Assuming the Associates position that Noelle is vacating is AH. Although she has been with the *** less than one year, AH has already proven herself. We are recruiting to replace AH.
Please join me in wishing both of them well.
Thanks,
boss b*tch
Boss B*tch
Vice President and Chief Development Officer
She wrote that I was leaving to spend time with my family because I refused to let them know why it was exactly I was leaving. Although if you worked there, you would definitely know why I left. I have to laugh at her use of the word legendary. You would think if I was so revered that they would not have tried to make my life impossible there. I guess she was trying to be nice. In any case good riddance. Wish i could say where this misery took place but I cant cuz there is still someone I like who works there and I wish her all the best cause she is really cool. I look forward to moving on because for me the grass has to be greener on the other side.
MEMORANDUM
To: Boss B*tch
Boss B*tch of Human Resources
From: Noelle
Re: Resignation
Date: May 31, 2007
It is with firm conviction that I write this letter of resignation from ***.
Please understand that I have made my decision after considerable deliberation.
I am therefore resigning from ***. This will be effective June 14, 2007.
In the interim, I will work with you and AH to ensure a smooth transition.
I hope that I will have your support in making this change as easy as possible.
Thank you.
In response to my resignation, my old boss sent out this announcement.
Noelle will be leaving us to spend more time with her family. Her last day will be June 18th. Noelle has been with the *** for 6 years. Her dedication to caring about the details and taking care of our donors is legendary in our department. She will be missed.
Assuming the Associates position that Noelle is vacating is AH. Although she has been with the *** less than one year, AH has already proven herself. We are recruiting to replace AH.
Please join me in wishing both of them well.
Thanks,
boss b*tch
Boss B*tch
Vice President and Chief Development Officer
She wrote that I was leaving to spend time with my family because I refused to let them know why it was exactly I was leaving. Although if you worked there, you would definitely know why I left. I have to laugh at her use of the word legendary. You would think if I was so revered that they would not have tried to make my life impossible there. I guess she was trying to be nice. In any case good riddance. Wish i could say where this misery took place but I cant cuz there is still someone I like who works there and I wish her all the best cause she is really cool. I look forward to moving on because for me the grass has to be greener on the other side.
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