My 7 for '07 New Year's Resolutions

I have decided this year to actually make a list of resolutions and try to follow it for once, instead of not having a list and spend a whole year trying to remember what I said I wanted to do. Plus you the reader will see the list and can be my "failsafe" to ensure that I don't transgress against my own commandments. Maybe, if you see me violating one of the resolutions, you can "check" me and say "yo, remember you said you resolved not to 'road rage' (resolution #2) this year. They are not listed in any particular order, in case you were wondering. Anyway, I encourage you the reader to make a list of your own for your own personal improvement or you could just stay the same old f**ked up you for 2007.

My 7 for '07 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Eat healthier - I'm not talking an Olsen twin or Nicole Richie diet here, but seriously to eat smarter/healthier. Seriously, who needs to eat bacon & sausage everyday. Hmmm, bacon....

2. Stop the Road Rage - This may be the hardest stunt that I will ever attempt, ever, but I have to stop yelling at little old couples who are just happy to still be alive & driving. It will really be hard to not rage on those idiots who drive way too slow in the fast lane or ride in your blindspot for no real reason, but I will give it my best effort...trust me though, on December 31 I will be driving somewhere for the hell of it just to let out one last, "Move bitch, get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the way".

3. Use Tact - I have to be mindful not so much of what I say, but how I say it and of course who I'm saying it to. Like, I can't tell my boss that he is incompetent and acts like a bitch (FYI, he's not my boss anymore) even if it is true. Hasn't it been said that you can say anything as long as you say it with a smile, I'll try that. Hey you incompetent f**king dumbass (while smiling). Asking for a raise would've been a resolution but I haven't worked in one place for at least a year in a while, so I thought an attitude adjustment was more important.

4. Be nicer to people - This is very vague resolution, but it gives me the wiggle room I need. I have to stop letting the elevator door close on people I see walking right up to it. Better yet I have to stop staring them down as they walk up to the elevator while cheering silently for the door to close, hurry up close don't let that ni**a get in, hahaha.

5. Get out of Debt - I have to pay these bills, period. Can you believe I let some crazy a** bitch run my damn credit up (her sh*t was really f**ked up)? Needless to say, I cut the wacko loose, but I'm stuck with the debt. Why not get her to pay for her own sh*t you may ask, well she is crazy for real and this is one of those lesser of two evil situations, knamean.

6. Read more than just the Sunday Comics - It's not like I don't read serious sh*t, but I just haven't for a while. I have Bill Clinton's "My Life" on CD and still haven't heard/read it yet (got it when it came out in 2004). I have like a stack of books that I have gathered for the past couple of years and I really need to read them, especially since I don't have a bookshelf, they're just sitting on my dresser taking up all the damn space. I hate those f**king books.

7. Blog more - I was recently threatened to be removed from this blog for not contributing enough. I don't take kindly to threats, but because I like the administrator of this blog, I won't go all Jules Winfield (Sam Jackson) from "Pulp Fiction" on their a**. I will try my best to contribute more frequently (more than twice every 5 months).

There it is, my 7 for '07, now go and make your own list. And don't be copying my sh*t either. HA HA HA MERRY NEW YEAR !!! (in my best Eddie Murphy impression from "Trading Places")