I NEED A KEY FOR THIS

First let me say that I work in a hospital, so keep that in mind. When I started working here, I had to get a key for the bathroom in our area. I was thinking, "a key, wow, must be some bathroom". My first couple of visits to the little boys' room were uneventful, but as time went along I saw what the normal conditions of the "john" are. On a regular basis I walk up to the urinal and feel the need to hold my pants legs up so they don't make contact with the pissy floor covered with "used" tissue. The bathroom stall suffers from the same thing. There is plenty of hand soap, but there are the weeks that go by without any handtowels, so after you wash your hands you have to infect them by touching a wet doorknob (WTF?!?!?). Or you could just use your shirt sleeve or prop the door open with the always full trash can beforehand and then swing your arms like a lunatic to airdry them. And the bad part is that the housekeeping office is on the same floor, they should be in there straightening sh*t up every other day, at least.
One good thing is that the odors are rarely offensive, that's because they keep the urinal full of those cute pink urinal cakes. Seriously, I think I counted like twenty in there one day. The shamefully scary part about all of this is that along with the engineering department, we share the bathroom with the kitchen staff. I let you the reader think about that for a minute, and think about this also, if conditions are like this in a healthcare facility, what are they like in other industries? We might as well go back to the outhouse days and convert the bathroom into an office, we could definitely use the space.